DEAR SANTA

Thank you for all the great toys you have brought me over the years, though I could have done without the having to open up a pack of undies in front of my family. I note that sis never got panties or a bra at Christmas, is this embarrassment saved only for boys? Never mind that.

I wanted to tell you that I have been pretty good this year, though with the instability in the price of fuel, I could have used the lump of coal, but who admits to being naughty, unless they enjoy being spanked?

I am very lucky, I have all the things that I need, so what could I want for Christmas? Certainly not something that will end up unused, and eventually in a landfill, I want to think abought the carbon footprint that I leave on our beautiful island of Kodiak.

The perfect gift for me is something usable, enjoyable, and doesn’t cause too much waste when disposed of after used. Hmm . . . that lump of coal is looking better and better. 

Santa, when I hang that stocking, freshly removed from a beautiful woman, by the fireplace I am hoping that you will find it in your heart to put in there a couple of really nice cigars, the kind I am too cheap to get for myself.

Thank you Santa. I hope that this year has been good for you, the missus, elves, and deer. I’ll have the chimney swept so your suit won’t get too sooty. 

The Kodiak Perspective