OLDIES RADIO

There are some recent additions to the radio dial here in Kodiak, and one of those stations has been playing at the place where The Kodiak Perspective works. This is the oldies station, playing songs of the 60s, 70s, and 80s. With three decades worth of music to choose from, one might think that the play list could be full of forgotten gems, classics, and songs that you might have missed, certainly quite a variety of music. Unfortunately, there is very little variety on the station, with songs being repeated daily, and several bands getting a good portion of the spins.

The Kodiak perspective used to look forward to holiday weekends when radio stations would roll out “Top 500" countdowns, just to hear different songs. The top 500 is a purely subjective list and often made no sense. But it was a weekend of no repeats.

If they would just load the hits and semi-hits, and cult favorites onto a hard drive and put it on shuffle, we might not have to endure the same tired songs everyday. We could easily go a month without repeats.

There are many bands that get no play on the music of the 60s, 70s, and 80s. The Kodiak Perspective hasn’t heard any Dionne Warwick singing Bert Bacharach, or Herp Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, or Led Zepplin, or Donna Summer, or Humble Pie, Frank Zappa, Yes, Rush, Jimi Hendrix . . . the list could go on for days.

Why do they insist on playing the same stuff over and over? Oldies radio is all about the advertisers. Here in Kodiak this lousy programming will get sponsors because there are few alternatives, so it doesn’t matter what kind lousy play list the station chooses. Kodiak, we deserve better.

Maybe when Kodiak Public Broadcasting gets some more signals approved, they can load up a terabyte hard drive with a play list of several thousand tunes and offer something interesting, surprising, and worth listening to.

THE FCC AND THE F-BOMB

Last week Diane Keaton dropped the F-Bomb on “Good Morning America”. The latest in a rash of bombings from the likes of Bono (U2), Cher, and Nicole Richie.

The FCC instituted a possible fine of $325,000 for each use, that was overturned by the courts, though the case is on appeal.

The Kodiak Perspective wonders if these indecent words, satirized by George Carlin many years ago, still function as cuss words. Most of the words are now in common usage and have lost that important ability to shock and offend.

Our cuss words have been in use for a long time and seem tired. In an age where we can harness nano technology, can’t we come up with something new, or is our society too jaded to care.

The Kodiak Perspective started thinking what is something that is still shocking and offensive? How about “NAMBLA”, the North American Man/Boy Love Association. This is shocking and offensive to the majority of Americans. How about using Nambla as a cuss word . . . “You are a nambler”? The idea is good, but a proper cuss word needs a harder sound, "nambler" is too soft. A good cuss word has hard consonants like “K” or “T” which help intensify the word. So, for your consideration: “NAMBLAK”

Coming up with a new cuss word is not so easy. You try it. Put your suggestions in the comments.

FUND RAISING

The Kodiak Perspective does not understand the fuss over Gabrielle LeDoux’s fund raising during the legislative session. Is it a matter of her not participating in the session because she is out seeking donations? The ethics rules idea is to prevent the appearance of influence peddling, but does a contribution received a week before the session hold more sway than one received a week later after the session has started? Fund raising is part of political life, does it really matter when it is done, unless it interferes with the responsibility of representing your constituents?

HOW TO SELL PAPERS

On Wednesday the Anchorage Daily News led off with “ALASKANS MAY GET UP TO $1000 EACH” while the Kodiak Daily Mirror led off with a color photograph take at the recycling center and “OFFICIALS RELEASE 3-YEAR SUMMER FERRY SCHEDULE”.

Which story would you be likely to read first?

The Kodiak Daily Mirror had the $1000 story buried at the bottom of page 7. Since it is only a teaser, and no actual action has occurred, this is probably where it belonged for its quality as a news story, but if you want to sell papers . . .

AN IDEA WHOSE TIME WAS ALWAYS HERE

While much of the coverage of the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas focused on whose television was the biggest. One television was 150 inch, even if your house has a wall large enough, where do you position the easy chair? At the neighbor’s house across the street? There was one gadget which may have a larger impact on society.

Are you a closet performer? Does the shower screen turn you into the latest pop idol? Do you sing along with the radio while driving? You do? And you admit it? After many studies of distracted driver and cell phones, some genius has come up with . . . car-aoke. Now the car pool lane can be your ticket to stardom as you and your crew belt out the tunes on the beltway.

You thought that cell phones were distracting to drivers, now try to program which songs to sing at 70 MPH, and just where are the lyrics displayed?

“Life in the fast lane, surely makes you lose your mind”

A SOBERING REMINDER

Many of us no longer think twice when boarding an aircraft. Air travel is just part of life in the 49th state. A way to get from here to there, or a way to get back home.

Going home for the Orthodox holidays, the spirit aboard the flight must have been one of good thoughts of good food and family gathering. The families will still gather, but this Orthodox Christmas will be sad for many in Kodiak as we have lost friends and family in the plane crash that took place on Saturday.

Events like this remind us of the fragility of life and the short time that we have here upon the earth. It makes the Kodiak Perspective think of all of the stupid little things that annoy him, and wonder why they do, there are so many other things to lift the spirits. Think about those things and enjoy the time we have.

50th ANNIVERSARY LICENSE PLATE

The State of Alaska celebrates it’s 50th year of statehood in 2009 and you can be part of the celebration by sporting a special license plate on your car or truck. The design features the 50 year logo on the left and “Celebrating Statehood 1959-2009" across the bottom.

The Kodiak Perspective would have had a 49th year celebration since we are the 49th state, but the powers that be did not consult with The Kodiak Perspective.

CITY BUDGETING

Aha, so now we know why the New Year’s Fireworks were sacrificed . . . so the city could get some new cop cars. These cruisers are more fuel efficient than the current SUVs currently in use, this is a huge factor in a city of roughly 3 square miles. If the city wants fuel efficiency, what happened to those Segways that were rolled out a few years ago? (There is a picture to submit for the 50th anniversary of Crab Festival), or bicycle patrols. One can get anywhere in the city limits in just a few minutes on a bicycle, so response time isn’t an issue. Like a bicycle or a Segway, these new cruisers aren’t equipped for transporting law breakers, but with radios on any of these vehicles, an officer could call for the paddy wagon if necessary.

In a city where crime is not a big issue, it is more important to the city to spend more than $60,000 on “more administrative” (From the Mirror) vehicles than spend a tenth of that on relieving the darkness doldrums.

OK, The Kodiak Perspective is being a bit tongue in cheek, and knows that neither Segways nor bicycles are a good alternative on our icy roadways, and neither has a good heating system required for our winters in Alaska. We want our Policemen to have good usable equipment.

So, instead of the City sponsored fireworks, which would have been cancelled anyway, due to weather, The Kodiak Perspective played “Pictionary” with some friends.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Lancelot Link Secret Chimp

While visiting this holiday season, a friend had received a “20 questions” electronic game dedicated to television. It was able to identify “My Mother the Car” but was stumped in each succeeding game. It was able to guess “Lancelot Link Secret Chimp, but only after 25 questions. Others at the party had never heard of this 70's TV show. Here is a clip, enjoy:



A double DVD set is available for purchase or hire. Happy Holidays from The Kodiak Perspective.